wedding wednesday: wedding q + a

Remember when I asked you guys a few weeks ago to ask questions, we'll I'm back for part two... wedding edition!

How did you meet your husband?

Tyler and I met in 2010 at the South Carolina/ Clemson football game in Clemson. I was going to the game with my friend Ruthie but staying with my friend Matthew. Matthew had been in PA with Tyler for thanksgiving to hunt and somehow they began talking about me. Matthew told me he had someone for me to meet at the game and tricked me into going to tailgate with Tyler and our friends from home. It was love at first sight! He graduated two weeks later and moved to Illinois six weeks later. A year later, then I moved to date him in the same city!

One of our first dates

I'd love for you to post about the wedding planning process (what you were glad you did, what you think looking back, etc.).

1.       Don’t buy a wedding planning book. Make your own three-ring binder. I never ever used mine and hate that I spent $35 on one when I could have made one that was much more organized for $10 like my mom did.

2.       My parents and I split what was important to us. For example, I wanted a band (instead of a DJ) and alcohol. My mom wanted the flowers done her way. My dad was in charge of what food we would serve.

3.       I wish we would have hired a videographer, especially for the reception. I’d love to hear the songs that the band played and see everyone dancing all over again. We taped the ceremony so I do have just the audio from it.

4.       There is so much leading up to the wedding and then it is over so quickly. I’d keep a journal if I did it all over again.

5.       Thankfully my mom and I never fought. We agreed to disagree and got over things easily. The only thing we got really upset about was printing the programs, but that would out of our control.

6.       Do things as early as possible. My mom and I relaxed all week long. Now my dad on the other hand was working like a dog with some of the guys who work for him getting beer delievered and making sure the reception was ready to go. Mom and I had everything ready, bows tied, presents wrapped, etc, all before the week-of. Never do that stuff last minute!

Favorite thing you 'just had to have' for your wedding or something that played a bigger role than you expected.

Like I mentioned I wish we had a videographer, but I was so thrilled with our photographer and her husband. They were both so engaging and worked the crowd great! Everyone was also raving over the band, Ascension. I’ve had people ask me who our band was because they want to use them for another event. They were worth every penny!

Totally random but just how many wedding have you gone to in the last year?

2013 weddings:

Mollie & Evan (I went)

Us

Catherine & Brian (we both went)

Eleanor & Adam (same day as above)

-and unofficially Shannon and Coleman (right Shannon!?!)

Rachel & CT (we went)

Bailey & John (same day as above)

Dan & Brittany (same day as above)

Caroline & Chris (I was MOH)

Ryann & Andrew (I went)

Ainsley & Webb (we were at the beach)

Anna & Will (Tyler was a groomsman)

Betsy & Stewart (November 23)

That's a lot!

What was the most memorable part of your wedding day?

The most memorable part was after my bridesmaids and I got ready. Somehow we started dancing with bongos and other music in the church’s music room. I think Stacey gets credit for this with slam poetry. It then turned into a dance party with music from the movie The Proposal, mine and Tyler’s favorite movie where Betty White is dancing in the woods chanting.

What do you think is different about being married, compared to before?

I don’t know who ever said marriage is easy, but they lied! It is hard work! There are so many stigmas about getting married and being the “perfect wife.” It is just not humanly possible to be perfect, and we all know that, but there is also room to strive for perfection. I want to cook a meat-and-three dinner every night that is healthy, but it can’t happen. I need to exercise for my mental and physical health and there isn’t time in the day to prepare an elaborate meal. I want to keep a perfectly clean house that is always tidy, but normally men aren’t tidy and our dog sheds an unbelievable amount! Laundry is constant and sometimes his work shirts have wrinkles (I do only buy non-iron shirts now for that reason!). Bills have to be paid (on time) and there is such a thing called a budget. We have student loans, car payments, and rent to pay. We can’t splurge all the time, but will occasionally. It is hard to schedule date nights, especially when you have weekend commitments almost every weekend. Sleeping in and breakfast in bed hasn’t happened since we’ve been married.

Before we were married, we had our own lives, sort of. Yes, we lived in the same place, but we had two places to clean, pay rent, and live in. We lived in a different state with different culture. We had an excuse to be independent and go to the grocery store alone or run errands alone or be apart. There is some pressure I feel being married that you have to be together 24/7 but that isn’t our personalities. I’m super independent and try to do my own thing here and there.

In a nutshell, there are similarities, but definitely differences. When you get married, two become one, and it isn’t just all about you anymore. You really have to consider your spouse because you are a family together. You make decisions together, you live together, you sleep together, and you go about life together!

Favorite and least favorite things about Tyler.

Favorite: Hardworking, funny, goofy, caring, likes to cook, enjoys the outdoors, loves my family and me, committed to strengthening our relationship always!

Least favorite: Early to bed, crunches ice, lacks patience (I'm guilty too!).

Most memorable date/trip?

My question would be do you have any advice for couples in long distance relationships since you and Tyler did that?

Go visit fun places together, but also see what real life is like. In our first month of dating, we never really dated in one place. I was in SC and he was in PA and then IL. We went to NYC for New Years. I then moved to DC for a month for school and we played in DC for a weekend, then I finally got to go out to Illinois for a week inbetween my semesters. We really experienced real life, not just the fun stuff like a nice date in Manhattan! We also visited St. Louis together, but with another couple in their home so we could really relax together. Tyler spent a week at my parents house with me during my senior year spring break. After we got through all of this, I finally think "real life" sunk in and we realized all this traveling wasn't realistic in the future. While we like to travel, we also like Law and Order SVU marathons and Chinese takeout.

Also, when you were in Illinois was it hard to be away from your family and how did you manage your long distance "relationship" with them?

It was really hard to be away from my family, but much harder to be away from my friends. When my girlfriends would get together, I would get really sad. There are 12 of us who are super close and at one time they all got together (maybe for Homecoming) but it was too expensive for me to fly to SC. We did a lot of skyping and they followed my blog to keep up with me. I saw my family a lot, surprisingly. We also had a family of our own in Illinois who really took us in and made us feel like their children. My mom and I talked every morning on the way to work and every day on the way home.

He was approved by my best friends on week TWO of dating!

Thanks for your great questions, friends!